August 25, 2020 Hunger
Abraham Maslow was an American Psychologist responsible for creating his namesake's "Hierarchy of Needs." In it, food, water, warmth and rest are the initial, basic needs.
Absent these, the animal dies.
Next comes security and safety. I like to think in terms of early man living in nature's built caves, providing that safety and security.
The third level is where civilization and modern man emerges. I believe civilization succeeds because humans evolved to be collaborative and cooperative. Such is what my calculations show.
In the third phase of the pyramid, intimate relationships and friends become the pivot point. I once had a large circle of friends, close friends and partners. I eschewed all of that long before the Pandemic came along. Like many things, this was not by design; you might say I have trust and abandonment issues.
The next level is prestige and accomplishment. This is probably the linchpin to the collapse of my confidence. I tried to improve my role in the third phase, minimizing states of being a misunderstood actor toward attaining the observer's understanding. I opted to own my inability to hide and instead invested myself fully in the group, not out of benevolence, merely to accept the limits of my hardware.
Lastly is the achievement of full potential. Nirvana. This was to be the absolute in the end, completed accomplishment. It is fullness, completeness and nothingness all in one. It is the singular point at which all things make sense in alignment with one another.
Everything has been disrupted now though. I'm back at phase two, perhaps falling to one. But my programming was designed to adapt. I have agency and I still seek nirvana. I'm still hungry.